My baby isn’t a baby anymore

My baby isn't a baby anymore

This past weekend, my sweet baby Olivia turned 2. She has officially entered into toddlerhood (thought she’s been acting like a toddler for a couple of months now). She’s talking up a storm, running, climbing, throwing and doing everything she can to drive mom and dad crazy. And it makes me really a little sad.

With my first child, Lucy, I looked forward to every milestone. I couldn’t wait for her to roll over, take her first steps or look at me and say ‘mama’. Every milestone meant I was that much closer to seeing her real personality (and getting her potty trained). The more she grew, the more I saw a funny, independent girl with an infectious giggle who is a little shy until you get to know her.

I thought the second child would be the same, everything would be just as exciting. Well it’s not. And not because I’m not excited to see Olivia’s personality develop (or because I’m sleep-deprived and really only excited by wine these days), but because she’s my last baby (no we’re not going to try for a boy). She is the last baby to kick in my stomach. The last sweet smelling baby to fall asleep on my chest. The last baby to say ‘mama’ for the first time and to take her first steps. She is the last baby to use the infant car seat, the bumbo, the walker, the jump jump and all the other baby crap stuff we so carefully selected after pouring over reviews and recall lists. When we move her into her big girl bed in the next week, I think I may lose it.

Don’t get me wrong, I am looking forward to a future without diapers (and a diaper bag). I’m looking forward to 8 hours of sleep (and maybe even more on the weekends). I’m looking forward to eating a hot meal and being able to pee alone. But I never expected to be so sad about my baby growing out of being a baby.

I read an article on Scary Mom by Susie Johnson the other day that put this feeling so perfectly:

And all those fantasies I’d had in my head of uninterrupted showers and clean kitchen floors and a house that stayed neat for more than twelve minutes, well, they weren’t so appealing anymore.

All of a sudden the only things I could think about were blankies and feet pajamas and sucking thumbs and strollers and coveralls that look like little teddy bears.

There is an end.

You will find yourself on the other side.

And it may be sooner than you think.

So whatever stage you are in right now, choose a moment.

A moment that you love.

Whether it’s rocking in the chair, or breastfeeding, or reading a story, or watching a movie.

Whether it’s sledding or snuggling or whatever it is, be mindful of that moment.

Because they are finite.

I know it seems like those unbearable moments of motherhood have no end in sight.

But they do.

Unfortunately, when they disappear, some of the bearable moments that you really enjoy go right along with them.

As I sit here surrounded by tissues, I leave you with one piece of advice: Mamas (and dads), cherish every moment with your babies (even the moments that suck), because they won’t be babies forever (one day they’ll be teenagers saying ‘I hate you’ and telling you how you’re ruining their lives).

{Let your babies be babies}

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2 thoughts on “My baby isn’t a baby anymore

  1. it is so bittersweet watching them grow and become more and more independent isn’t it? i really relate to this post because i dont think we’ll have another so it feels really sad that i will not be pregnant/have a newborn again. here’s to the future! #LetKidsBeKids

    Liked by 1 person

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